The Ultimate Wine and Music Guide 1999 Version By Henry Y. Chung Courtesy of Daily Orange.com

Robert Burton once said, "I may not here omit those two main plagues and common dotages of humankind, wine and women, which have infatuated and besotted myriads of people; they go commonly together." While I agree with Burton's statement wholeheartedly, I also feel obliged to add yet another underrated narcotic to such a flawless combination to bolster one of mankind's most debated philosophies, "The good things in life never change." This drug is, of course, music. People such as bourgeoise wine experts and pretentious college wine professors have already written books about how to marry wine with food. But as far as I know, little literature about "what kind of music corresponds with which type of wine" has been published. I hope this offbeat essay sets up a blueprint for more scholarly momentous manuscripts in the days to come.

click to enlarge

What inspires me to start this project originally comes from my sentiments towards some of the wine guides in the market. It's saddening to see how these wine books can easily mislead one's taste while neglecting the mention of music. In fact, several of my friends blindly follow these books; they even bring them to restaurants so that they can know exactly what wine and dish to order by turning to page 168. Sometimes I just don't understand how these so-called wine experts come up with combinations like "lamb and red Bordeaux" or "dark chocolate with Cabernet Sauvignon." I even saw a book that suggested coupling fake Chinese food with acidic wines - which I found to be categorically absurd. Please note that this guide is only for people who respect wine and regard it as an art form. For those of you who get the inferior $6.99 crap from grocery stores to stack up your fridge in preparation for your routine Saturday night get-together thing, you're not qualified to read this essay.

Yves Montand

I first propose the pairing of wine and music by the "geographic rule," i.e. when you drink a French wine, listen to French music. Likewise, Italian music with Italian wine. And so forth. (It doesn't mean, however, that you should listen to the Beach Boys when you are drinking a California Merlot.) The reason is simple: you want to know show your drinking companions that you're not only educated in the geographical aspect of wine but also that of music. If you're discussing politics with Francophones while drinking Grand Cru Beaujolais, chansons from Yves Montand (my personal favorite) are undoubtedly the perfect choice.

Mario Lanza

To fully appreciate good Italian wine, good Italian music is inevitable. Mario Lanza first comes to mind. The soulful but poignant voice of Lanza's is best delivered with a pleasant 1993 Amarone della Valpolicella. Many people have asked me whether Italian opera will do the job. Well, try picturing the pairing of Pavarotti's "Granada" with a 1995 Chianti Classico. Perhaps that's why Roberto Benigni titles his film "La Vita è Bella."

Nina Simone

Here comes a phenomenon known as the "spontaneity rule." As its name suggests, this rule enables you to select music spontaneously, both according to your personal taste and the suitability of the situation. However, one violates the rule if one fails to satisfy all its prongs. For example, Michael Jackson and Yanni are forbidden in all circumstances not only because of the objectively low quality of their works, but also due to the fact that their music is never suitable in wine-drinking events. If you're drinking a decent white Burgundy, tunes such as Dinah Washington's "What's the Difference a Day Makes," Nina Simone's "My Baby Just Cares For Me" and Dave Brubeck's "Take Five" truly enshrine the original rhythmic intent of fine white wines. Jazz albums like John Coltrane's Ballads, Bill Evans' Waltz for Debby, and Miles Davis' Kind of Blue enhance the romantic mood of any wine-induced environments.

Warning: Don't attempt 60's psychedelic favorites such as Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Frank Zappa, or Janis Joplin unless you decide to accompany your wine with serious drugs. On the other hand, the definitive must-nots, in addition to Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Yanni, consist of Van Halen, Bon Jovi, Black Sabbath (or any type of heavy metal), U2, Phish, Elton John, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks, Hootie & the Blowfish, and of course, Philip Glass. Everything else is okay.

Miles Davis

Always remember, a fabulous wine is made in heaven, just like some of the music I have mentioned above. Not only do music and wine interact on a profound intellectual level; better yet, they meet again on a spiritual level, i.e. heaven. I believe that wine and musicare two of heaven's essential components (I'm not forgetting women here). In closing, I quote the liner notes of Miles Davis' Kind of Blue album, "If you're going to heaven, might as well go first-class all the way."


E-mail me at henry@henrychung.net